


Dulce et Decorum Est

by magelette



Category: Protector of the Small - Tamora Pierce
Genre: F/F, Multi, Threesome - F/F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-22
Updated: 2011-12-22
Packaged: 2017-10-27 19:26:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/299229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magelette/pseuds/magelette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The war with Scanra is over, but Keladry needs reminding that peace exists. Luckily, Buri and Raoul are there to remind her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dulce et Decorum Est

**Author's Note:**

  * For [llassah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/llassah/gifts).



A child of the Roof of the World, Buriram Tourakom was used to brutal winters and blazing summers. A few memories of spring -- that moment between bitter cold and torturous summer -- stood out in her childhood, but they seemed few and far between. She hadn't really known the peace of the moment, the season of growth and renewal, until coming to Tortall. That spring, and that peace, had been forgotten in the course of the latest war. But the spring of 463 did find her, deep in the Grimhold Mountains, bringing with it news of peace between Tortall and Scanra. Real peace. Buri's company of Queen's Riders had immediately set out for Northwatch to confirm the rumors and to put some of their weariness to rest.

She hadn't thought beyond the end of the war. This thought of some fragile moment between wars seemed as foreign as spring to her. Her first thoughts were of finding Raoul and reacquainting herself with the husband she hadn't seen in months. The gods, apparently, had other plans for her, from the moment they dumped a tired stripling of a knight in the doorway of her and Raoul's chambers, a knight barely standing on her own two feet and drunk with exhaustion and relief.

The knight's head rested against her breast and Buri carded her fingers through the shorn brown hair, trying to soothe the knight into long-needed sleep. Long limbs entwined with hers, the too-thin body wrapped tightly around her as if she were some sort of child's toy. But her bed partner needed it, poor youngling. Even in sleep, Buri could trace the lines etched into the now-calm face. So many leagues from the front lines of battle, her bedmate's dark eyelashes still fluttered, mouth frowning with worry. With one calloused hand, Buri rubbed at the careworn forehead. "Sleep," she murmured, caressing the too-pale cheek. "The gods only know when you'll sleep this well again."

"How is she?" Raoul asked, sliding into bed again behind Buri. He buried his face in her dark hair, loose for once. It had been a month and more since they had seen each other, as their clean-up duties with their respective companies had never intersected. Moments of passion had been few and far between in the past year, as it had been for the rest of their fellow soldiers. Buri had grown up knowing more about battlefield relationships than conventional domestic partnerships, so this was really no surprise to her. In fact, she wondered what it would be like to build a place together with Raoul. For all that she had tagged along with the Third Company of King's Own in the first year after marriage, she didn't want that to be the rest of her life -- not that she had imagined a world without war, even in those first few years of Tortallan peace after Jon and Thayet's marriage.

She had expected to find Kel at Northwatch, because the Crown had called all watch commanders to confirm new orders. But Kel, from the looks of it, hadn't been taking as good care of herself as she had of her subordinates. Strung out on emotion and fatigue as she was, the girl had all but flung herself at both Raoul and Buri in relief. Not that Buri regretted it -- not in the least. But she was worried for their young charge, especially since their young charge tended to isolate herself from human attachments, to the point that even Tobe, Kel's young servant, could often be heard berating his beloved mistress for it.

"Still battling the kraken," Buri said, tipping her face back to Raoul's for a kiss. Raoul's mouth met hers before leaning over her shoulder and kissing Keladry's temple as well.

"Still?" Raoul's chin rested on her shoulder as they both watched Keladry of Mindelan shuffle slightly in her sleep, burrowing her face more deeply in Buri's breasts. "I forget how young she is sometimes. How alone she is out there, since Dom said she keeps refusing his advances. At least at the Drell River Valley I had the others."

Buri had never really known peace, even in this magical, idyllic land of Tortall. Tortall had seemed like paradise from the moment they stepped off the boat in Port Caynn. While no one had made direct attempts on Thayet's life in those early years, it was still hard to forget the battles that went on behind the scenes. Physical warfare Buri understood, since she'd been bred to fight it. Psychological and emotional battles she'd seen first-hand under Thayet's mother Kalasin. Political espionage on the scale that Tortall fought, however, was something she'd happily remained ignorant of. She still had nightmares about Claw, about Duke Roger, and seeing Liam's crumpled body lying in state. Buri could only imagine what it had done to Alanna, seeing not just Liam and Jon, but also George, engaged in such close combat with such high stakes.

"That's the difference between the two of us, my love," she said finally, stroking a hand down Kel's strong brown arm. She didn't begrudge Raoul his youthful innocence, or the fact that he didn't grow up in a battleground. Kel had been fighting her whole life, for all that Raoul would never understand that, not born as he had been into the privilege of both noble birth and his own gender. "Justice still exists in your world. You buy into the same trap that our youngling's caught up in. You still believe in the Code of Chivalry and protecting the weak, and that if you do, everything will be made right." She couldn't help smile a little. For all his rough bluster, Raoul's sense of justice and urge to protect was nearly as strong as Keladry's own.

"You've been talking to Sir Myles again," Raoul countered, wrapping an arm around her waist and drawing both her and Kel against his body. Buri and Sir Myles had had any number of 'philosophical discussions' over the years, sharing a skin of wine and exorcising their demons, as old soldiers do. "Remember that Keladry chose this life, love. She knew what she was getting herself into, just the same as the rest of us."

"Did she?" She looked back, meeting Raoul's dark eyes. He'd let his hair grow again so that it curled around his cheeks, nearly as black as her own. "She was ten when she took her vows. She was a child."

Raoul loosed a soft laugh, but Buri could hear the bitterness in it. "Keladry of Mindelan was never a child. I'm not sure if she's better off for all those years with the Yamani and how they taught her to repress her emotions and desires, or if I was, getting the Code of Chivalry beaten into me before I could talk." He looked down at Kel with the same fierce love that Buri saw directed at herself, in Raoul's more unguarded moments. "What else can we do, though? How else can we arm the next generation against the kraken?"

And they couldn't. Buri knew battle-stress as well as her own name, and how it sat in the dark circles under the eyes, and the constant worry lines that creased the forehead and the corners of the mouth. Buri knew that look all too well, for all she'd seen it reflected back at her in every mirror and pool of water since she was thirteen. When Raoul spoke of the Drell River Valley in the Tuisaine campaign, he wore that look. Lady Alanna and Jonathan both fell back into the same fit of quiet, tired melancholy when someone mentioned the Black City or Duke Roger. Daine never spoke of Carthak, but if it was mentioned in her hearing, this was the look she wore. Buri had seen it often enough on Keladry's face after Haven fell, but it hadn't been as clear then as it was now. Kel was tired -- bone-weary tired. The lines on her face were not the lines of a young woman just barely in her twenties, or even of a seasoned knight. They were of a soldier, long-suffering and ready for a rest.

War was never easy. Raoul had mentioned Kel's first command, leading a squad of King's Own against the first of Maggur's metallic monsters, and how Kel had conquered that battle-fear and its aftermath. Buri, having been a child soldier herself, wondered if that was as true as Raoul believed. Not that she would ever accuse her husband of being blind or insensitive. But there were times when she agreed with Sir Myles' views on the Code of Chivalry and the trap that nobility birthed their children into. Keladry's nickname was 'Protector of the Small,' and few took that code to heart as much as Kel did. Buri had been born to a life of chaos and a war-torn land; she'd been bred to protect and fight and to die trying. She couldn't imagine the luxury of peace, and what her future life as a noble lady would bring. She had seen Thayet's own struggles, adapting to this new court life in Tortall, and how often Alanna had to reconcile herself to the two very different parts of her life.

"What do we do then?" Raoul asked, frustration clear in his soft voice. Buri knew how much he admired his former squire, how much he considered her a protégé and a friend.

"Stop talking, for one," Kel's sleep-rough voice muttered. Her hazel eyes looked up at them reproachfully, half-lidded with fatigue. "We're warriors. This is the life we chose to protect the people we love."

Raoul chuckled again as he leaned over Buri's shoulder, this time kissing Keladry on the mouth. Buri shifted so that both she and Kel sat up, supported by Raoul's welcome bulk and the headboard of the bed. Buri was pleased when Keladry snuggled back into Buri's side, leaning into Raoul's kiss with tired enthusiasm.

"Am I destined to hear the two of you rehash this argument, year after year?" Raoul asked lightly. "I can remember Jon and Myles having the same argument more than twenty years ago."

Kel looked startled by Raoul's comment -- not about chivalry, since Kel had been privy to these arguments just as Buri had over the past few years. Kel seemed to have trouble believing that this was more than a onetime occurrence. Buri wondered if Kel realized that Raoul meant that she was welcome in their bed -- her husband, unlike most courtiers, wasn't afraid to say what he meant. And never said anything he didn't mean.

"Sometimes I think the only way Thayet and I survived all those years was because we were together," Buri said to break the quiet. "Even after my mother and Altan died, I was never alone because I had Thayet." She looked from Raoul to Keladry and back again. "She was my reason for living and I took comfort in that. And in her."

A blush stained Kel's cheeks. Both Thayet and Buri had known that their husbands came to the marriage bed with a history of other lovers, just as Jon and Raoul had known -- and understood -- how Buri and Thayet had naturally fallen into each others' arms when they were younger. And while aspersions had been cast about Thayet's own virginity, as a Saran princess in exile, the majority had been concerned with her mental stability rather than her physical purity.

Raoul added, "It's never easy to face a battlefield alone. Sometimes your fellow soldiers are the only ones who understand -- and who won't laugh off your nightmares." He kissed Buri's bare shoulder even as his left hand circled around her to touch Kel's face again.

"What we're saying, sweet," Buri said, shaking her head slightly at her husband and his obtuseness, "was that you don't have to face this alone. Soldiers don't let their brethren face this alone. And if anyone tells you different, then that person has never faced the kraken."

She could see the battle playing out on Kel's face: the relief, the longing for peace, the desire to shoulder this alone. At least the youngling had been out in the world long enough to know that some things, like domestic conventions, didn't transcend war and its aftermath.

"Myles said once that we wouldn't agree with him on the Code of Chivalry until the glamour of being knights and nobles had worn off and we could see the toll that our way of life had taken on us," Kel said softly, resting her head on Buri's shoulder again.

"Is he still singing that refrain? I remember hearing that when I was a page." The smile fell from Raoul's face, and he grew serious. "He's right, though, Kel. There's no shame in wanting comfort, or in hoping for peace. No one will begrudge you that, or what you need to come back to yourself." He plucked her out of Buri's arms and into his lap as if she were a child, and not a bare half a head shorter than he was. "You are brave and earned your knighthood. The Chamber of the Ordeal proved that. And if that didn't, all you did in Scanra and at New Hope did."

Buri watched as Kel struggled with this, her face crumpling as the soldier faded away and left Kel for what she was -- not much more than a child, barely twenty-one years old, too scarred by battle and war than was good for her.

"Oh, love," Buri said, stroking Kel's back as Raoul rocked her, humming to her under his breath. "Such a strong one you are, worthy of your sword and shield and heart."

The snuffling against Raoul's neck gradually quieted, and Kel looked back up at the two of them. Her face was tear-stained, but at least there was a little peace there, as if some of the bottled up emotions and fear had been relieved.

"You're always welcome here," Buri repeated, leaning in and pressing kisses to Kel's forehead, her damp cheeks, her mouth. "Here, in this bed, is where you can just be Keladry. There are no knights and commanders here. There is no kraken. It's only us, and comfort for as long as you need." She looked up at Raoul, who nodded. "Or as long as we need."

"Does it ever end?" Kel asked, a bit of the weariness coming back into her face.

"Never, sweetling," Raoul said. "But it does get better. Ask Alanna, or Jon. Even ask that Meathead of yours. I'm sure he'll tell you."

Keladry smirked. "I can only imagine what Yuki would say if she found me in their bed." She snorted. "Though, knowing Yuki..."

"So, we agree?" Buri linked her fingers with Keladry's, watching Raoul do the same with Kel's other hand. "In a month's time, or six months time, or even ten years time, if you need us, you'll come to us. Just as we'll come to you if we need to." Gods grant them peace for several years, or even a year...

The Keladry who sat in the cradle of their arms looked far more like the young squire Buri remembered, or even the knight that had been, before Scanra and the war. She could see the pride and the strength shining from the impassive face now, the secret smile at Kel's full lips that only contentment and loving could bring.

"You could have come to us years ago," Raoul said, burying his face in Kel's chin-length hair. "In Steadfast after the wedding, or even at Northwatch."

"Because the second female knight in a century needs to follow the Lioness in every way," Buri responded with a snort. "It only took that gossip twenty years and six royal heirs to die."

"Could you imagine Lady Alanna bedding poor Neal?" Kel laughed like the young girl that she was, and the sound warmed Buri's heart.

Raoul shuddered. "That's an image I didn't need. Bad enough thinking of Jon and Alan--"

Buri shared a long look with Keladry, who nodded shyly. "Perhaps we can help banish that image from your mind forever," she said, pushing Raoul back down on the pillows as Kel swarmed Raoul's other side.

In bed, there were no commanders and subalterns. For a relationship to work, Buri had learned long ago that they all had to be equals. How else could soldiers face the kraken together, if they didn't have full trust for their fellow soldiers-in-arms?

There were reasons why Buri had left Thayet's comfort to another, why Keladry could never seek peace in the arms of the Lioness, or even why King Jonathan was never a rival for Buri's affections when it came to Thayet. There were those who shone too bright for their own good, whose god-touch would blind normal mortals. Alanna was one of these. In Buri's eyes, Thayet and Jon were two others. Keladry was remarkable because she was mortal, because of the blood and sweat and tears that achieved her goals. Kel was real, and inspired others because of what she, a normal girl, had achieved. And if that meant that Kel needed grounding from her fellow mortals, so be it. Buri had always looked at Keladry with a soft spot in her heart. That Raoul was Kel's knight-master only made the girl more dear to Buri's heart.

 _We'll guard the protector,_ she swore to the Horse Lords silently. _We'll love her and ground her and help her remember peace. She will know spring, for all summer follows so closely on its heels._

So mote it be.

***

 _If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood  
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,  
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud  
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,  
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest  
To children ardent for some desperate glory,  
The old Lie; Dulce et Decorum est  
Pro patria mori._

Wilfred Owen, _Dulce et Decorum Est_


End file.
